Are you feeling isolated and alone? Is your social life suffering?
Numerous friends/colleagues asked me to offer up my perspective on this.
I can tell you right up front, this will need to be two separate blog posts, maybe more.  :)
Yes, I could suggest different types of groups and organizations to join, etc., but if you aren't presenting yourself in the most positive manner, all the outings in the world won't matter now, will they?
So, let's talk about “presence.” How DO YOU come across to others? What is the first impression or vibe that you give off? What is your “carriage” like? I remember being at a business networking happy hour years ago. I was chatting it up with a delightful young man who stated: “The most attractive thing about a woman is her carriage.” Hmmmm, (This could apply to all genders by the way). I had never heard the term used in that manner before. I asked him to explain. In summary: It's not all about your expensive outfit, or handbag, or shoes (although the outfit does matter). What matters most is how you carry yourself, that “first impression.”
It's about your “presence,” “your energy.” 
Do you walk into a room with a smile and a confident stride, radiating positive energy out into the world?  If so, I guarantee that positive people will be drawn to you.
Challenge: The next time you're out and about, you might consider “people watching.”  Who would YOU be drawn to in a crowd, and why?  Make note of those commonalities and watch for my post next week with concrete ideas on how to specifically get out and meet people, and develop a social life and build new relationships again. For those of you brave enough to actually try this challenge, I'd love to hear back from you. 
Until next time,
Be grateful, Be well.
​Lynn

We've heard it many times, “change your state.” But seriously, what does that even mean? You think you understand but it seems so hard. If this sounds like you, I get it. I used to feel the same way.  Allow me to break it down and make it do-able for you.

First off ~ the only thing over which you have complete control is your mind. Your mind controls your “inner world” or emotions, your “state.” You cannot control people, situations, or circumstances outside of yourself, BUT you can control how you react to them.  Why bother you ask? Well, if you want to have a nice life and be successful with your career and relationships and finances, etc., you'll want to learn how to manage your emotions. Trust me, keep reading,

Please make sure the people you go to for advice or strategies are those people who are getting results for themselves. If you're seeing a business coach to grow your business but they haven't had personal success themselves, you may need a different coach.

Be keenly aware of past stories you tell yourself – they may be true but they're not going to bring you the results you want by placing your focus there. Remember, energy flows where focus goes, and “it's all energy.” Give up old stories that limit you. Come up with new ones that will serve you better. Example: I've never been good at sales and everyone hates sales people. Really? Is this really true? Of course not. I spent the last 30 years in the world of sales/marketing and learned from some of the best. We don't hate sales people, we hate people that don't listen or ask the right questions. We hate feeling pressured or “sold to.”

So what's a better story you can tell yourself? How about this: “I don't feel very comfortable in sales, but this is a great opportunity for me and I will find a good sales/career coach who will teach me to be successful.”

Changing your story will change your emotional state, which determines how you think and feel, which puts you in a higher vibrating state, which helps you attract people, situations, and circumstances that quickly help you achieve your goals and dreams.

It simply boils down to where you “focus”!! If you hang on to your old stories and choose to focus on those, you'll get more of the same. BUT, if you dare to change where you place your focus, you will get in your creative zone, come up with better strategies, and no person, no thing, will be able to stop you.  Guaranteed. You WILL succeed and feel great joy in the process!

I wish you the best as you change your focus and change your state!

In this post you will learn some simple, effective ways to connect with even the most difficult
people. This post will help build your confidence when meeting new people or when reconnecting with difficult people.  Guaranteed!

• Enter into the conversation with an open mind. Assume that you have something valuable to learn from this person. Remember, everyone is an expert in something.

 

• Actively listen. Listen with the intention to UNDERSTAND, not to REPLY. I repeat, listen with the intention to understand where the other person is coming from, NOT TO REPLY.

 

• Ask open ended questions: Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How.

 

• Let your thoughts come and go. Release them as quickly as they come into your mind so you can actively be listening. It is not possible to “hear” what the other person is saying if your mind is full and contemplating what you want to say next. Be present. Stay in the moment.

 

• If there is something you don't know, then say you don't know. Nobody likes a “know it all.”

 

• Try not to make their experience yours, unless it is truly relevant and helpful to make that connection. Let them have and share their story. Everyone's story is unique and individual.

 

• IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. Please remember this. Make it all about them. Make them feel special.  Be sincere about this and they will never forget you and how you made them feel.

 

• Last but not least, be sincerely interested in other people and always be prepared to be amazed!