Guarding Your Energy

What I’m still learning about protecting my nervous system — one conversation at a time...

​Just because you meet someone and they like you — and they want to meet up again — doesn’t mean you should. It doesn’t mean you’re obligated to. And it doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for you.

I know that might sound harsh. But if you’re a Highly Sensitive Person, an Empath, an introvert — you already know exactly what I’m talking about.

Here’s what happened to me recently. I connected with someone new. She was warm, enthusiastic, full of energy. She also talked non-stop — giving me a ton of information in a short amount of time, without pausing to take a breath, to check in, or to read my non-verbal's.

For most people, that’s just an energetic conversation. For my nervous system? It’s overload.

“I could feel that weak sensation I get — the wrinkled brow as my brain worked so hard to keep up with her.”

I had to excuse myself at the one-hour mark. I recognized the feeling — it was like being back in Algebra 2 class in high school, when the formulas and explanations came at me all at once. It made perfectly good sense to someone else’s brain. Not to mine.

Here’s the thing about that feeling: when our brains have to work hard to process at a speed that doesn’t match our natural rhythm, it uses energy. A lot of energy. For HSPs and Empaths, that depletion isn’t just mental — it’s physical. It shows up as heaviness, fogginess, that drained-to-the-bone exhaustion that can take hours, sometimes days, to recover from.

In hindsight, I could have — should have — gently redirected that conversation much sooner. I know this. But here’s the honest truth: it hadn’t yet registered as necessary self-care to me. Sometimes I’m still caught off guard.

So I gave myself a do-over.

Not in real life — but in my mind. I turned back the hands of time and asked: what would I do differently?

I would interrupt — kindly, but clearly — the moment I felt that “drained” feeling settle into my body. I would take a deep breath. Or two. I would let the person know I had another commitment. And I would leave with my energy intact.

If you’re an HSP or Empath, this is your reminder that protecting your energy is not rudeness. It is not rejection. It is not a character flaw. It is the most loving, responsible thing you can do — for yourself and for the people in your life who depend on you to show up whole.

You are allowed to leave. You are allowed to limit. You are allowed to say, kindly and firmly: I have another appointment. Even when that appointment is simply with you.

Don’t second guess yourself.

This week, notice the moment you feel that drain. Trust the wrinkled brow. Trust your body — it’s been trying to protect you all along.

Your energy is not a gift for everyone who asks. It’s a resource. Use it wisely and treasure it.